Does the Pain Ever End?

I seem to write about pain a lot.  Someone once told me, and I don’t know if it is true, that the deeper the wound, the more one needs to talk about it.  Well, I have certainly done my share of talking and writing about it.  The pain has definitely lessened, but sometimes it comes up out of nowhere and bites me in the butt.  I can’t pin it on any one thing.  I only know that I am feeling deep angst and it hurts.

I feel like that will never end.  What I want to know is this: does it?  Does the pain ever end? Or only lessen?  Do I have a future with this forever a part of it?

3 Replies to “Does the Pain Ever End?”

  1. Do you really want me to tell you that it never ends? Of course you don't. But the reality is it can only end when it has been addressed. If it lives within you, then you can surpress it for a time. Then something or someone will trigger a response and you will spiral again. It can lay dormant for decades but it is only one event away. The most effective way to deal with these demons is to share them with those you love. I know that is not easy, I am 58 and still can't do it. It will destroy me in the end.


  2. In my experience, yes it does. My abuse happened 30 years ago, but I only recognized it as abuse three years ago. It was excruciatingly painful… I spent a year in therapy and also spiritual counselling, and I would say it has been about a year now since I have felt the pain. Of course each person's journey is individual, but I want you to feel hopeful. 🙂


  3. The pain of the sexual abuse is able to be surmounted. The insurmountable is the response that follows either in covering up or in blaming and scapegoating the victim. This of course is a toxic response and one should expect further abuse if you remain in the environs of such actions. A good counsellor is very helpful in dealing with both the sexual abuse and the toxic response.

    I noticed this in your tweets “Read another article on priestly abuse. Will someone please explain why this is still happening after all we have learned & charter in place” There has been and continues to be an abuse of trust, children remain vulnerable in such an environment.

    Protecting the rights of children can go a long way to alleviating the risks they are exposed to in every day life. Of course that ability to genuinely protect the rights of a child does not come easy to those who have never considered this in real terms. Perhaps the following might cast some light in that direction.

    Every child has the right to reach maturity and responsibility so that they can be free to choose whichever religion they wish to follow.

    Can you provide that protection by raising a child as a Jewish child? Can you provide that protection raising the child as a Muslim child? Can you provide that protection raising the child as a Christian child?

    The answer of course is no in all circumstances yet that is precisely what we permit to happen. We abandon generation after generation of children to the early inculcation into a religion and then we declare that they are free to choose. What an absurdity. What a fraud to carry out against children.

    There are simply solutions that put the rights and the interests of the child first and that can be done in a number of ways. We can attempt to legislate laws that restrict religious practices or we can protect the rights of the child.

    If we are to protect the rights of the child then legislation would make it a criminal act to introduce a child to a religion before they reach maturity and legal responsibility for themselves. It is a simply and effective solution , its provides the outcome we sought. It places the right of the child first. It is the right thing to do, it is also the Australian thing to give any poor bugger a fair go.

    To provide anything less for children is an abandonment of their right to be free of all doctrinal influences until they reach the age where they are responsible for themselves and their right to be freely choose has been protected.

    There are a thousands steps this inquiry and thousands of recommendations it can make and they will all fail to some degree unless this one stands as it is.

    I state that the Catholic doctrines and practices are toxic and detrimental to the moral and social development of children. There is a systematic and endemic process of cover up of criminal actions that has been in operation within the Catholic Church for hundreds of years. That cover up mentality is prevalent and operational today in Catholic communities across the globe.

    Children who are forced to engage with and to learn in such an environment are at extreme risk of moral corruption.

    Their safety cannot be assured. They are at risk.


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