Patterns

I seem to have a pattern going on this blog:  write, take a month or two off, write, take a month or two off.  That’s not such a good way to develop a following.  While I would like that to happen, my main goal from this blog is self-healing.  It helps me to talk about the issue of clergy sexual abuse and all that surrounds it.  The pain that I feel is often best expressed in the written word is often helped by the written word.

I hope to educate here as well.  There are so many good resources for those of us who want more information on the topic.  For those who have been abused, information can bee healing.

The start-and-stop of blog posts is a reflection of my interior life as regards thoughts and pain about the abuse.  For a period of time, I am not bothered by thoughts, and subsequent pain, but then something will trigger it and off we go to the races!   I find myself in full-blown trauma again until somehow the inner chaos calms.  It’s a maddening roller coaster ride, and a lonesome one.

My mind is somewhat clear at the moment as one storm has passed.  It will be interesting to see how long it is until the next one rolls around.  If I can be aware of the enemy within, avoid things that I know will call the dark clouds in, and remember to stay close to God  in prayer and Sacred Scripture, that will help a lot.  However, there is no magic formula for warding off the evil of clergy sexual abuse ramifications.

A good therapist, medication to stabilize my moods and stabilize the moods, a spiritual director who keeps “my eyes on the prize” are all part of the team.  And it takes a team.  If you have suffered abuse, I highly recommend you get a support team together.  It has taken a while to find the right team members, but now that I have, life it much better.

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